To the Editor: Armida A. Geiger shares letter received after a table etiquette class, “Pass the Peas, Please” held at the Governor’s Inn.
It is written by Sue Murphy of Rochester, a grandmother of a student of Adelie School of Protocol. Murphy writes, “I wanted to share the dinner experience I had with my granddaughter on Wednesday night after her table etiquette class at The Governor’s Inn in Rochester, New Hampshire.
“She comes to my house every Wednesday for dinner, so that particular night I suggested we eat in my dining room with candles, good silver, place mats, China, etc. Oh, and wine glasses … mine for wine and hers for milk. She was very explicit about how to set the table and the order to eat the ‘two’ courses. (I am not The Governor’s Inn!) Salad first … and the salad plate had to be on a dinner plate.
“I was instructed how to properly open my napkin ‘under the table’ and that I was not to start until she, the hostess, started to eat. And I could not have a sip of my wine until she took a sip of her milk. Oh, and I was reminded that I could only have refills on the water, not the wine. (That must have been because they could only have one glass of soda?) Once we finished our salad she immediately asked me if I had any sorbet. I did not … but she reminded me that we had chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer and we could use that to ‘cleanse our pallets.’ (We did not …)
“During the main course she told me how if one didn’t care for the meal to occasionally stir and poke the food a little so the hostess would not feel bad that you might not like her meal. Good idea! When my granddaughter finished eating or she had decided she didn’t want to finish, she announced that I had to stop eating because she, the hostess, was finished. ‘When the hostess is finished, everyone else has to stop eating even if they are still hungry.’ (Not sure about that one!)
“When we rose to leave the dinner table she showed me how to crumple my napkin a little and leave it next to the dinner plate. If you are at a restaurant, leave the napkin on your seat if you have to leave to go the bathroom so the waiter knows you will be back, she informed me. “It was a memorable evening for me and I think your school of etiquette is a wonderful idea! I will continue to have our Wednesday night meals in the dining room and practice the good manners she learned. Thank you!”
